One trick that I’ve used for a few years now is a way to save space in your suitcase or bag when traveling. It’s basically folding a day’s clothing up into what I call a pill shape. I managed to find a video of someone doing something very similar.
Maximum Gainz Hacks
This is a double whammy you’ll thank me for later.
HACK 1: You may be on a health kick so only want to order 6 Chicken McNuggets at McDonalds. They are however, having your pants down. Based on prices last Tuesday in Leeds train station it was only 20p more for 9 Chicken McNuggets and only £1 more than that for 20 Chicken McNuggets!! So for only £1.20 more you can get a 76% greater volume of delicious Chicken McNuggets.
PART DEUX: Now I know what you’re thinking “I’m a pathetic excuse for a human being so I can’t eat 20 Chicken McNuggets all at once!”. Don’t worry I’ve got you covered fam. Through a happy accident I ended up with a refrigerated box of spare Chicken McNuggets one Saturday morning. Not wanting to eat the Chicken McNuggets cold because I’m not a sociopath I decided the best way to reheat them was in the oven. To my surprise because they are chocked so full of oil and fat, they go super crispy on the outside and perfect on the inside. I’d dare say even better than when they came out of the fryer at McDonalds. You’re welcome.
Actual Life Hacks
Always tired? Try going to bed a bit earlier on a night.
Bath towels starting to smell? Wash them regularly and hang them up to dry after you’ve used them.
Trouble tying laces? Buy slip on shoes or ones with a velcro fastener.
Sick of being overweight? Start eating healthily and exercising.
Burn easily in the sun? Wear a higher factor sunscreen or try and sit in shaded places more.
Clothes always look creased? Give them an iron before wearing them.
Don’t like pets? Don’t bother getting a cat, or a dog, or a fish, or any animal that will need to live with you.
Too busy to buy groceries every day? Do a weekly ‘big-shop’ and get everything you need in one go.
Hate that time between New Year and summer? Yeah, me too.
Being a massive takeaway fan (at this rate soon to become literally massive) I have always found that reheating a pizza never truly does it justice. I still eat it, obviously, but it lost it’s edge and got pretty chewy. But it doesn’t have to be!
As my phone gets older and older, the battery life gets increasingly worse. So overtime I’ve amassed a couple of useful tricks/hacks to drag out my phones battery life to make it through the day. Hopefully some of these may be useful next time you get that 15% warning at 2pm:
- Turn off your WiFi when you’re walking around. By default your phone is always searching for networks to connect to. Turn off your WiFi to stop it doing this and save yourself some precious percentage. You can always turn it back on when you’re somewhere which you know will have WiFi.
- Turn on Ringtones and turn off vibrations. Making your entire phone vibrate when you get a message actually uses more battery power than making the speaker vibrate, so make sure you turn it off.
- It’s an obvious one but turning your screen brightness right down will save you some quality battery life.
- Out of the box your phone is always looking for emails, which sucks the life out of your battery. Luckily you can change it so your phone will look for new emails every 15/30 minutes. It might also give you some quality relaxation time.
Not Actual Life Hacks
Stick some toast butter side down on the bottom of an old bit of wood and you have yourself an instant hoverboard.
Piss bus drivers off by simply getting on their bus.
Look really cool at the petrol station by stopping the pump exactly on a tenner.
The small white plastic bits in the middle of the pizza box makes excellent garden tables for fairies.
Need more zombies for your low budget zombie film? Simply tie a can of special brew to a piece of string and drag it through the local inner city park. Don’t forget to start the camera.
Cut your soft drinks cans in half, remove the ring pulls and then sellotape all these bits randomly to a stick before putting it all in a bin for a needlessly complicated way to throw your empty cans away.
Avoid getting fired for constantly being late after being warned more times than necessary, both verbally and in writing and also after being told explicitly you will be fired if you don’t turn up on time the very next day by turning up on time the next day.
60% of the time it works every time.
Sadly I have to report that I just can’t think of any Life Hacks to offer up.
If there’s the longest possible way around to do something in life, that will be my chosen path of execution.
That sentence alone proves my point.
This is a no Life Hacks zone down here.